When Darkvale Studios set out to create a new effects laboratory, we sought out the finest scientific minds Central Florida has to offer. Unfortunately, none of them would return our phone calls (or lavish gift baskets), but we pressed on and built a humble but well-equipped 400 square foot facility, in which we manage to endanger ourselves on a nearly daily basis. While tending towards visual effects for magicians and haunted attractions, our lab also dabbles in pyrotechnics, robotics, and finding what devices are most mind altering for the common house cat. As a result, we have created some striking pieces of automated showmanship, as well as some extremely jaded house cats. Amongst the smoke of electrical fires and the roar of the air compressors, mad dreams are being forged, even as first aid kits are being rapidly depleted. We will also soon be in the market for new and more easily impressed house cats.