Despite its awesome jungle themed name, Amazon doesn’t quite scratch the itch of the true adventurer. While you can buy alligator skulls and pirate daggers there, you’re also never more than a click away from a necktie covered in pictures of kittens (item # B000Y2VMII; I was so disgusted I only bought three of them.). But at Darkvale Studios, we serve customers with bolder spirits, and we do so by risking the life, limb, and sanity of our dedicated team of artists and explorers. Our insurance premiums are a howling nightmare, but our merchandise speaks for itself, at least it would if it wasn’t all dead. While a quick browse through our online Emporium may seem a bit macabre, it is refreshing to have a retail experience that puts one in touch with the great dark void we must all eventually face. Also, we have some lovely little tabletop doodads that are sure to spice up your next Tupperware party or primal scream therapy group. So while the internet offers many saner, calmer alternatives for your browsing delight, I encourage you to stop by the Emporium at Darkvalestudios.com and peruse the shadowy and unique delights that only Mr. Darkvale and his team can provide. And who knows? Perhaps we have just the right grim decor to accent that jaunty kitten necktie you’ve been itching to show off at your next stockholders meeting. I can’t believe I have to wait three days for shipping.